Well, I'm back in Minnesota, and back at work. I busted butt since eight o'clock this morning, and now all my work is done for the day, and it's not quite two. I'm supposed to be here until 3:30. So I'm writing in here. I have a lot to catch up on, and a lot of it is totally random, so here goes.

I finally got Red Dwarf on tape again. Noah watched the first two episodes with Noah and Jaime a couple of days before we left for the Cape. He wasn't laughing out loud or anything, but he said he liked it. I know it's kind of an aquired taste...I remember wondering what was so funny the first few times I saw random episodes. I guess it's hard to understand why it's so funny when Todhunter says, "Oh Rimmer, you are a smeghead!" until you know Rimmer a little better. Anyway, I'm glad I have it.

I also got Eddie Izzard Dress to Kill on DVD. Jake is going to be so jealous. It came in the mail while we were gone, and I am totally watching tonight, after Gilmore Girls.

I don't remember where I left off about Christmas. One thing I definitely wanted to mention was that I went to church on Christmas Eve with Noah and his family. I get such weird feelings when I do that...and it was even more weird this time because the last many times that I went to church it was with Andy and his family. It was a hard night. I cried in the church, and Noah saw it and held me. The transition is strange, but getting easier with time. Spending Christmas with Noah's parents was cool. His mother must have told me she was glad I was there a million times. They are great present pickers, and it was so nice of them to treat me just like their own kid. His dad looks at me a lot like Andy's dad does. I like it...I have two dads now, and that feels good.

New Year's Eve was a blast. Although it had its totally sucky time. J.E. was being J.E., nuff said, but Cassie and I took over. Then it took a while to get Noah over the hump, but I did it. So we hung out at J.E. and Cassie's, with Jaime, Amber, Neil, Steve and some of Cassie's friends. We played a few games, had some food, it was fun. Then Amber, Neil, Nick Smith, Jaime and Noah and I went to Club Cancun and danced until 2003. Unfortunately, Noah and I had to leave soon after midnight because we had an early flight. We packed, slept two hours, and off we went. But it was worth it, we had a ton of fun, I got to see Amber, and Neil and I actually talked. It was cool.

And Cape Cod rocked. We saw Alex and Liisa's house, which is nice. They did a lot of work on it, and I'm really proud of them. So we spent a lot of time with them and Dave, I spent a lot of time with my mom, I got to see Liisa's wedding dress, I ate at some of my favorite restaurants, I saw all my siblings and their kids. It was a lot of fun.

There is a crazy drama going on in my family which I don't really want to go into here, but this was my first trip home since it started, and it was hard. I hope everyone involved turns out okay, and I hope I can do as much as possible to help.

Jaime stayed at our place while we were gone, and she cleaned and went grocery shopping. It was super nice of her. It rocked to come home to a clean apartment. I can't wait to go back to normal Gilmore Girls night tonight.

This was the first time I have ever gone back to the Cape and felt just as excited about coming home. It's hard to explain, but I think it's really significant.

There's a girl who writes a diary on here that I read quite often, and I feel like I know her, though we've had scant interaction, and all of it online. She makes me think, and I like that about her. She's very intelligent, and writes well, but she doesn't think very highly of herself. She suffers from severe depression. I wish that I could help her, but if the peple she loves haven't been able to convince her of certain truths, than I certainly have no chance.

I think we have a lot in common, as least insofar as our thought patterns and a lot of our desires. She has a lot of the same problems as I do with the world, and finding one's place in it, and being so aggravated with the shallow masses. I think these thoughts every day and I constantly yearn for solitude, for time to read and write, for space to think, for people to see what things are really worth. But then I go to work everyday, I play along with all the rules, I try to find time to be me in the midst of walking the walk. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's smarter than I am, being unwilling to break herself to make it in society. She definitely makes me think. What's the answer?