Man, life is so complicated sometimes.

Or maybe I just make it that way.

I think relationships are so interesting sometimes. It's so neat to figure out all the intricacies of sharing your life with another person. I feel like Noah knows me better than anyone right now, and yet I also know that there are more things for him to learn. It's such a cool feeling.

The marriage question is interesting too. Is that, like, necessary in some people's minds in order to be legitimate. I do remember that after Andy and I got married we discovered that nothing about how we felt for each other changed. What changed was the way people saw us. Noah and I are thinking about buying a house this summer, right? So his parents starting hinting around, finding out if we had plans to make our relationship "more serious." I do understand that buying a house together is a big committment, but whether or not we are married shouldn't make a difference. I know they were just worried about him, and me too, and that's cool. We explained to them our whole thing about being happy where we are now. Yes, we want to get married at some point, but when it feels right, not on a timed plan. They were pretty cool about it after that.

I really love him. That's pretty intense, really.

I really don't like my job very much anymore. I wish I could do something different, but I hope if I can hang in until my anniversary review, I can convine them to make some changes. This job is too much for one person. I hate admitting that. It makes me feel like a failure. But I'd rather admit it and change the job to something I can confidently do well, then keep my pride and do a not very good job. That's good, isn't it?