I just came across a past description of me as a "philosopher yearning for academia," and I thought yeah, that's me. Except how would that person know that, since I never do anything in here except update friends on my stupid life. Why aren't I attacking the bigger questions in here? Because it's boring reading, you silly girl. No one wants to know what you think about the epistemology of influence, or your theory on the compartmentalization of life, or your ideas on how to create a substantiated ethical code that doesn't involve God. Also, no one is really interested in reading about your overactive and obsessive tendency towards introspection. Do you think it's normal to rehash every belief you have a million times a day? Do you think anyone cares about your theories on government policies, patriotism and immigration, for example?

Do I sound bitter? I really don't mean to. I've been doing a lot of writing on my own, a lot more than I have in years, and it makes me feel better. But I'm stymied when it comes to doing anythiing with it. Turns out the only place with a Philosophy program around here is the state university, to which I can't even apply until January. So no school, unless they have a nondegree situation like Milwaukee did. I'm getting really antsy...I want to be in school again. You just can't get that feeling anywhere else. I want to read good books and share ideas and write papers. I want to have discussions about what I'm reading and what I think. And last night I edited Noah's capstone paper (think senior sem) for him and it made it worse. It was so fun doing that again. I ripped it apart, the poor boy. But that's what I do.

Working a real job and living this kind of life is fun. The regualr schedule rocks, I actually enjoy the work, and the money is good. I don't need to do the full time school thing. But even one night a week would do wonders for me. But without that aspect of my life, I feel like I'm stagnating. Someone write to me or call me and ask me what made me decide that Plato may have actually had a point and, regardless of whether or not he did, why he should not be underrated, no matter how much I hate him. No, don't. I'm kidding.

Anyway, it's not like I never get to have good discussions. Actually, Noah and I talk about all kinds of things every day. He's super smart and well-informed, and only slightly less opinionated than me, so that's good. And I love talking to him, about anything. But it's not the same as the school environment. Maybe I'm just having trouble adjusting to the concept of being an adult. That wouldn't surprise me.