well.

I've had my ears glued to NPR for three days now. I've read the paper every day. I never listen to news, I usually read the funnies.

It's terrible, I know, to be so mole-like. But it was working for me.

Now it won't anymore. Just one of many changes this incident has wrought.

Don't get me wrong. I am in no way comparing that to lives lost or anything else. I just don't know how to respond to all of that. It's too big to hold. I know some people who know some people, but I can't even bring myself to call them.

If I pretend it's objective, I can have opinions and beliefs aboutit. I mean, okay...here it is. I think we need to strike fear into the world. I think that killing more people is terrible but probably necessary. We need to show the world that this kind of behavior and violence will not be tolerated. Otherwise, it may happen again.

that's probably the closest to violence I ever get.

But beyond the beliefs I have about how to deal with the strike, I can't think about it without crying. I can't even believe it. All these people say they weren't surprised...they worry me.