This is a good day for a journal entry. It's a slow Tuesday at work and I am sitting here waiting for the last 33 minutes of hell to wind down. Because although work itself has been slow, it has been one hectic day in the world of me.

First, this morning was off because I woke up late after having weird dreams. . . about Matt, of all people. I think it has something to do with my twenty-four year old hottie chemistry professor, but I don't want to go into it. And the vibe was weird anyway because Noah and I had had some energy issues last night, which is rare and hard to deal with.

So then I get to work and I'm in my office doing my normal morning e-mail check, and this guy comes in. He's one of the aids, and he flirts with me a lot. He's probably old enough to be my dad and I never take him seriously. He's always telling me to tell Noah that he's a lucky man and that I'm such a nice girl and blah blah blah. The other day I was wearing my Torii Hunter t-shirt and he said if I was the hunter he was the prey. Yeah. But I never thought about it. So then he comes in this morning and he's hugging me as I sit in my chair. I stood up, hoping to diffuse the situation, but he hugged me again and was saying he really liked me and then BAM!, out of nowhere his mouth is trying to connect with mine. I pushed back and told him I didn't think that was a good idea. So he sits down and is just talking to me like nothing happened. As soon as he left I ran to tell Jaime. I think it was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. And it made me feel off all day. I was wondering if it were my fault for being flirty. But damn it! Everyone around here is flirty with each other and no one else had tried anything! I refuse to blame myself. I'm not going to tell anybody. Unless it happens again. But I hope he got the point. If he says anything else to me about it I am going to tell him that we can only be friends because I am in a very serious relationship with a very nice guy with whom I am very much in love. Oh yeah, and he has a wife. You'd think that would make a difference. I've talked to her on the phone, for Christ's sake, when I was in staffing. Lordy.

So yeah. Then I walked by the other creepy guy at work who always hits on me, and he asked me, "So, are you and I ever going to run off to Rio together?" I said I didn't find it likely. Why me?

By the way, I had to call Noah and tell him what had happened this morning. I felt bad, even though nothing happened, and even if he had managed to connect, it certainly wouldn't have been my fault. But one of the uppermost thoughts on my mind when it was happening was that if he kissed I was going to have to tell Noah I had kissed somebody. Poor guy's been worried about me all day now. He called three times and sent me an e-mail. I can't wait to get home.

And just a while ago I had a hardcore moment with an old friend. I really have to wonder what makes me keep going back for more with him. We haven't been real friends for a long time. I don't know what my issue is, but I just can't let go. He says he can, he has, but I doubt that. Otherwise why would I elicit such responses from him? I think I have just come to a point in my life when the drama is too much for me. I just want everything to be chill. I just want to stop burning bridges and hurting people and myself. I know it may already be too late for some things, but I want to make the biggest effort I can to bring everything to an even keel.

I went through some crazy shit in the last few years. But now my life is stable again. I have a good job, I am going to nursing school for free, I have a good relationship with my family, I have had the chance to learn who my friends are and I love them, and I have a boyfriend who amazes me more and more every day. Everything is pretty peachy keen. But there some loose ends and I want to tie them up. So I did the best I could with this particular individual. . .we'll see if anything comes of it.

Over lunch, Jaime and I had an amazing conversation. I really love talking to her.

Well, it has just been a seriously off day. I get to punch out in 23 minutes and I can't wait. Noah and I were supposed to go to the fair tonight, but I think I see some R&R time in our near future. We both need it. This whole full time job and school thing is going to take some adjustment. I've done full time school and part time work, but that was so long ago. I had just started getting used to having a regular full time job, o this school thing, after only one day, has thrown me off. I am tired. And I have homework to do tonight. What a bizarre feeling.

As an aside, do you know how many people I kissed while I was with Andy? But today I flipped about having to tell Noah that anything happened. I know it's just because Andy and I had an agreement, and Noah and I have a different agreement. But it feels weird to feel this way about it after all these years. I guess this is what normal people feel like in this situation.